September – [...]]]> I don’t have a lot of time but I’ve missed you and I’ve been dying to sit down and write a quick post.  But then I feel like I need to go back and share what we have been up to the past several months since I went silent.  So, here it is…

September – job interviews, lots of resumes, Lake Powell, Vegas and a job offer

October – started new job, first trip (of many) to Microsoft, a baptism, a hike, a new computer and a fantastic Halloween that included a lot of sewing.

November – Ivy and I rolled down a mountain into a river, walked away without a scratch but the car was totaled, second trip to Microsoft, celebrated the life of Scott’s grandpa after his passing, hosted Thanksgiving and felt overwhelmed with gratitude.

So, there you have it in a nut shell. One of these days, I’ll share more about the wreck, more about Jade’s costume and the pattern that I made up and I’ll do a better job paying tribute to Grandpa Wayne.  Until then, thanks for visiting and know that I will be back. (After I complete the next 4 big work projects on my plate, finish Christmas shopping and get some sleep).

I keep wanting to post about what we’ve been doing, share a recipe or two and give a sampling of the photos I’ve been taking.  But instead, every time I sit down to the computer, I feel like I should be posting job applications, sharing my resume and giving a sampling [...]]]> …or rather “Blogger’s block”.

I keep wanting to post about what we’ve been doing, share a recipe or two and give a sampling of the photos I’ve been taking.  But instead, every time I sit down to the computer, I feel like I should be posting job applications, sharing my resume and giving a sampling of who I am and why a high tech company should hire me.   So, I post, share and give but not to my blog.

I’m missing my blog, I am missing the friendships that have formed from being a part of the blogging world.

But, I feel like my voice is being swallowed up by the desire and need to find a job.  Wednesday it will be two months.   Two months of not feeling like myself.  Two months of feeling guilty that I am not accomplishing enough in my day – even though I feel like I am constantly on the move.  Two months of not getting great projects done because the “need to find a job” cloud is hovering close over my head and mood.

On the bright side…

• I am taking a ballet class twice a week.  And that is AWESOME.
• I am getting to pick up my girls from school each day and I get to be the one to hear about everything that happened.  (Something I never want to let go of).
• I’ve enjoyed reading a lot of really good books (of course that means I’m not going to sleep so I’m a bit on the tired side).
• My tulips have gotten planted – finally.
• I am interviewing with several really fantastic companies and have been approached about some really fantastic jobs
• For the first time in 6 years, I’ve gotten an awesome tan even with SPF 30 sunscreen.
• My girls have a sun tan to match mine.

So, my post my remain infrequent but I promise to share when I can.  And now, I’m off to apply to a position a friend told me about today.  Wish me luck.

In the meantime, here’s a sunset from our weekend in Lake Powell.  It is one of the few pictures I have taken a minute to edit…

Over the past few years, I have done the HCG diet each spring.  I don’t do it to lose 20-40 lbs.  Instead, I do it because it is an amazing cleanse that helps me lose the 10+ [...]]]> Eating healthy presents so many challenges.  So many challenges that thinking about it makes my head spin.

Over the past few years, I have done the HCG diet each spring.  I don’t do it to lose 20-40 lbs.  Instead, I do it because it is an amazing cleanse that helps me lose the 10+ lbs I typically put on over the winter.  It helps me feel better, have more energy, have fewer migraines and a happier tummy.

The problem with it is that it makes me OBSESS about food.  I can’t focus on anything else.  No matter how hard I try.  I can work on a prospecting list at work and get drawn to chocolate at the receptionist desk.  If I’m watching a webinar I feel the constant pull to the break room where sugar cookies from Kneaders scream my name.  While I’m writing a proposal, I am having to make a conscious effort to focus on the document in front of me and not allow my reader full of amazing recipes and pictures distract me.

In order to help me through this diet I chew bubble gum.  Which technically is NOT allowed because of the sugar in it.  Plus sometimes it just makes it harder.  After chewing bubble gum for a while, I want chips or something salty.  Sure, an apple with salt on it “works” but it totally doesn’t satisfy.

The HCG diet is extremely strict.  It isn’t fun, but it truly does make me feel so much healthier.  Sure, I could just eat the foods allowed without the shots or the drops but then it is even easier to cheat.  I think that if I had health issues and the doctor told me I could only eat certain foods, I might be able to get past my cravings and accept my new lifestyle.  If I wasn’t allowed to eat gluten because I was celiac, I would gradually be able to ween myself.  But the fact is, I’m not celiac.  I’m not even gluten intolerant.  Although I am lactose intolerant, it doesn’t keep me from eating cheese or enjoying a milkshake.  So I don’t really know what it is going to take me to really eat better.

In a matter of days to weeks, I am going to have to get in a swimsuit.  Will I feel comfortable? Nope, but apparently that isn’t motivation enough for me to be good.

How on earth am I going to eat healthier?  How can I do it without food becoming the focus of my day?  How am I supposed to eliminate the foods that give me headaches and stomachaches if I’d prefer to feel icky than pass on the chocolate?

Aw man, I need help.

How do you avoid sugar or chocolate or milk or gluten?  If you quit one of them, how long did it take?

PS- My job isn’t helping my eating habits.  Monday is bagel day, Tuesday is Kneaders and sugar cookies, Thursday is pizza and Friday is donut day.  Seriously folks, it is killing me.

  James C. Christensen is the subject of a new documentary by Barry McLerran and Rick Sout that will premiere on April 18 at 6pm on BYU-TV. The hour-long documentary explores his life, family, artistic inspirations, and his [...]]]> If you have BYU-TV, check out the documentary on my uncle…

Just over a year ago, this wonderful man lost his wife.   After she died, I wondered if he would follow her.  They had such an amazing and strong love.  He would do everything and anything for her.  Together they would stay home if Grandma E wasn’t feeling well.  And when she [...]]]>

Just over a year ago, this wonderful man lost his wife.   After she died, I wondered if he would follow her.  They had such an amazing and strong love.  He would do everything and anything for her.  Together they would stay home if Grandma E wasn’t feeling well.  And when she was feeling strong enough, together they would attend parties and family functions.  Occasionally Grandpa Wayne would come alone but he would rush back to be at the aid of his wonderful wife.

14 months ago Grandma E died and left Grandpa Wayne alone.  But I have to say, he is far from alone.  Over the course of the year, Grandpa Wayne has played twister, gone water skiing, traveled to Bear Lake, attended great grandkid’s activities and baptisms.  He’s also been playing in a band.

It has been wonderful getting to see him out and about and having him be such an active part in my girls’ life.  We love Grandpa Wayne.

By the way, he recently joined FACEBOOK!!!!  He was born in 1916, served his country, served his church and educated thousands of kids on music.

I am not one to complain (very often).  In fact, I try very hard to always look on the bright side of any trial that I may be going through.  Please note that I did say “try”.  I am not always successful at achieving this goal.  But, I do try.

As you all know, [...]]]>

I am not one to complain (very often).  In fact, I try very hard to always look on the bright side of any trial that I may be going through.  Please note that I did say “try”.  I am not always successful at achieving this goal.  But, I do try.

As you all know, the Thursday before my birthday, I was told that my job had been eliminated.  They asked me to continue working for the next three weeks while I looked for another job.  More importantly, for them, I needed to transition all of my duties over to about 17 people – worldwide.  That meant that while I was sending out resumes, making phone calls and emailing old work friends, I was also building training manuals, conducting trainings and setting up new processes without me in the middle.  It was a very daunting task and one that I had to do well.  Many people would say, “They eliminated your job, just leave them hanging”.  I could not do that to them.  Instead, I worked my fanny off to ensure everyone had what they needed and had a document to go back to should they have any questions.  I even told them to call me if they needed to.  (Only the sweet girl in China has actually taken me up on that offer).

Well, last Thursday my job ended.  It was very sad to say goodbye to the people but I wasn’t sad about leaving.

See, I had been offered a promotion prior to having my job eliminated.  It would have required me traveling 2 weeks out of the month.  When they gave me the offer for the promotion, I can’t describe the sick feeling that flooded through my body.  Immediately I knew I couldn’t take it.  But my boss, and good friend, encouraged me to go home and think about it.  When I decided not to take it, I slept peacefully and knew I had made the right decision.  Scott completely agreed.  The next day, I told my boss.  By declining the position, I knew I was at risk because I had already started the transition of my duties to the other 17 people.

The following week, when I was working from home and received a call to come into the office, I knew what was coming.  As my boss walked with me past HR and the HR representative joined us, I joked with my boss and asked if he was letting me go.  He stammered and muttered as we walked into the HR conference room.

When he delivered the news to me, I think I smiled.  I joked with them about having me leave before the end of the quarter.  I felt a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I could tell that them letting me go was the right thing.  Especially since I am not a quitter and was never going to leave my job otherwise.  After our meeting, I told my boss thank you and that I appreciated all that he has done for me.  I gave him a hug and he said “you aren’t supposed to be the one consoling me.”  But, I knew I did.  I knew the whole process had been very hard on him.

The first week after the news I was out-of-town at a photography convention.  (Which was totally and completely AMAZING).  I was so busy that I didn’t have time to think about that I didn’t have a job anymore.  But I was reminded of it when I’d wander the trade show floor and had to keep my wallet in my bag because I had no idea what was going to happen on the job front.  What if I couldn’t find a job?  What if we lost our house?  What if?  What if??

After the conference, I came home and started sending out resumes and reaching out to friends.  That Friday, I called a friend that used to be one of my Vice Presidents.  I told him what happened and he said to come in on Monday for an interview.  I spent two hours at the office, visiting with the hiring manager and two old friends.   I kept sending out resumes and reaching out to friends.

I didn’t want to talk about it because I wasn’t sure how everything would play out.

In the end, I signed my separation papers from my old job and signed my offer letter all in one day.  So I wasn’t sad to leave what had been comfortable for 6 years, because I knew already that a new adventure was waiting to begin.  Something that I’m excited to do and know I can do well.

After 3 weeks of not knowing, it feels good to have taken this week off knowing that Monday I am going to work – closer to home and doing a job that will help me reach my goals: personally and professionally.

Hopefully now my absence from the blogosphere will be less pronounced.  I’m looking forward to catching up on everyone’s blogs and joining in the conversation once more.

Now to get through the next few days of trying to complete all of the projects that I have put off for the past 6 years all in one week…. ugh.  And therein lies my complaint.  I am never going to be able to sort through everything that I have wanted to organize and clean, plus play as much as possible.  One week flies by way quicker than I expected!

________________________________

*** PS.  The painting is by my cousin, Emily.  It is of the 10 virgins.  I felt that it was appropriate for this post, because it is so important to always be prepared.  Not only in what we bring to the table today, but all of our past experiences and situations that make up who we are.  Had I burned bridges at the end of my last job, I would not have been able to land the job I did.  I’m quite certain I would still be looking and the panic and anxiety would totally have kicked in.  We all make mistakes but if we can repair those bridges and right our wrongs, we too will have all of the oil that we need.  (Thanks Em- Love you and love this painting).

It has been a really big week and I have so much to share.  Oh goodness, I have so much to share from [...]]]> I’m just saying, it is way harder to blog when I can’t be cuddled up in bed next to Scott while writing about my day, a birthday party or something else wonderful.

It has been a really big week and I have so much to share.  Oh goodness, I have so much to share from the past month.

I will catch up – I swear.  Even if I have to stay up all night.  Maybe Scott needs to schedule a game night.  I usually get pretty caught up when he has a group of guys over for Carcassonne.

I really really really want to write a real post that shares all of my thoughts and feelings.  Unfortunately, I think I need to process them a little more before [...]]]> I can’t believe how warn out I am.  After having my job eliminated today, I have felt like I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster.

I really really really want to write a real post that shares all of my thoughts and feelings.  Unfortunately, I think I need to process them a little more before I  can put them into words.

I have Jade’s 8th birthday party to share – and I am so happy with the way it turned out.

I haven’t posted about the first meet of the season and how some of the parents just made me feel anxious.

I want to post about how a friend has started a business, and what I’m doing to help her.

I’m giddy about this weekend and going to the WPPI convention in Vegas.

But tonight, I don’t have the energy to write about any of it.  Instead I feel thrown from a train, yet peaceful and hopeful.  There is an excitement that is supported by the anticipation of the unknown and a little bit of fear.  Plus the sadness of the end of a very rewarding era.  6 years of working with some of the greatest people.  6  years of putting up with a whole lot of crap.  6 years that have forever influenced my life.

Now I’m going to take my tired and emotionally drained self to bed.  I have high hopes that tomorrow I will be able to post about at least one of the awesome topics above.

When have you been filled with so many emotions that you can’t settle into any one of them?  How’d you deal with it?

Where to begin?

Jade had acid reflux as a baby.  She was only able to sleep [...]]]>

I like to think I’m doing a pretty good job at being a mom, but there have been many many times over the past 8 years that remind me (and those around me) that I am a rookie.

Where to begin?

Jade had acid reflux as a baby.  She was only able to sleep at an angle.  Somehow I missed that BabiesRUs carried a “wedge” that you could put in the baby’s crib to add just enough slant.  Jade, well, she slept in her car seat right next to my bed.  It made it easy to rock her when she’d cry and I loved getting to peek at her multiple times during the night.

The rookie mistake?  Her head is not perfectly rounded in the back.  The doctors told me it wasn’t enough to warrant a helmet, but it was worrisome all the same.

Jade was walking all over the place at 10 months.  What was I thinking teaching her to walk so early?  Only rookie moms don’t realize that once they start, they never slow down.  Life gets extra busy and harder to manage the more mobile they are.  With Ivy, I mended my ways and she didn’t walk until she was a bit more than a year old.

The next rookie award I give to Scott.  Jade was enjoying her second Halloween season (yes, it is a season not just a day).  We had candycorn and Scott just let her eat them to her little heart’s desire.  It was getting close to our bed time and Jade had been in her crib asleep for about 2 hours.  All of a sudden she’s crying and we both go in to check on her.  Guess what we found?  A great big yellow orange throw up mess all over her crib, bumper and stuffed animals.  Ugh.  Lesson quickly learned that time.

Our biggest rookie mistake happened on September 29th, 2006.  It is a date that I will never ever ever forget.  Neither will anyone in our family.  Luckily it was just one rookie mistake – there was potential for another mistake in response to the first.

Allow me to set the scene…

I work in software sales and we are on calendar year quarters.  Which means the last Friday of September is one of my end of quarters.  At the end of the quarter, I am at the office until at least 7 but sometimes until 11.  It is a stressful day for me and at the end of the day I’m exhausted.  All I want to do is crawl into a ball and watch a movie.

September 29th was no different.  I had gotten home at about 8 and Scott had a movie picked out for us to watch.  Jade had taken a nap during the day – which we affectionately referred to as the “kiss of death” because it basically meant that every 20 minutes napping meant an hour later bed time.

I got home and had some good girl time and then we put Ivy to bed.  Jade wasn’t tired and asked if she could watch a movie in our room.  She picked “Herbie” and cuddled up in our bed.

After a while, we didn’t hear from her.  She didn’t want juice.  She wasn’t asking for chocolate milk.  She’d cuddled with us enough.  Rookie move – didn’t check to see if she was asleep or getting in to trouble.

ROOKIE!  ROOKIE! ROOKIE!!

We learned our lesson quickly.  Jade came wandering out with her beautiful blonde locks slicked back.  Or so I thought.

I reached up from where I was lounging on the couch half asleep.  Expecting to find a head full of gel, I began crying and screaming to have her dad touch her head.

From the front of her hair line to the top of the back of her head all that was left of her beautiful hair was an 1/8th of an inch.

Crying, I called my mom and dad and they rushed over.   They were at our house within minutes.   Which was really good because they got there just in time to stop us from making another mistake.

We had the hair trimmers and were ready to shave her head completely – a buzz cut worked well for some strong women throughout the past couple of decades, Jade would be fine.

Luckily my mom reminded us that with a cute hat, she would still have her long blond locks.  And the rookie mistake was avoided.  Jade got to keep the rest of her hair and she still felt pretty.

Sadly, she came running in the next morning in tears because her hair hadn’t grown back.  A sad and early lesson on consequences.  Our lessons?  Hair cutting scissors should be way out of reach from a 3 year old.   And most importantly – if a child is quiet always assume they are up to no good.

Sure, there are many more mistakes, but none nearly as monumental.

Would you have shaved the whole thing or left her with a mullet?

*** Participating in Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop.